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By Michael Wong

Another year has passed by and what a year it was…

Chinavasion is almost four years old now, and it seems as each year passes we get more and more blog love attention. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad…but you know what they say: publicity is a lot like pizza. No matter how bad it is, it’s never that bad.

• Read what happened from June to January, from breakdancing RC cars to the Chairman Mao laptop cooling pad.
  
  
• Read A Year In Review, 2009’s Hottest Gadget Stories, Part 1

July

Ever notice if you say July really quickly it sounds like “you lie”? Yeah anyway, the heat was stifling here in China, with temperatures approaching 40 degrees Celsius this summer, but on the Web, our products were even hotter.

We received lots of blog love for the Galaxy’s Thinnest Portable GPS Navigator. (thegadgets.net/accessories/galaxys-thinnest-gps/) Yes, Captain Picard verified that it was indeed our galaxy’s thinnest GPS device, but he also added “in the Delta quadrant, they’ve got this GPS device that’s a mere two nanometers thick.” Sure, Jean Luc! Like they need GPS in the Delta quadrant!

Speaking of star systems, if you’re into watching distant bodies, you might like our digital binocular, The Avatar.

(thedesigntown.com/products/product.asp?productid=2589&categoryid=&subcategoryid=&Digital-Binocular-Sports-and-Spy-Camera) A lot of blogs did. James Cameron if you’re reading this, thanks for making a movie about our digital binocular. You rock dude!!!

Turning from binoculars to cellphones, The Quantum phone was generally well-received. (technabob.com/blog/2009/07/17/quantum-touchscreen-dual-sim-media-phone/) One of the testaments to its popularity was how quickly it sold out. During the latter part of the month, two products were launched that caused a bit of hilarity.

One was a Hamburger USB drive. Laura, head of our media team, bless her cutie pieness photoshopped a USB slot onto Joy’s mouth…ah you have to see it to understand…

Crunchgear articulated it best with–OH MY GOD WHY DOES HER MOUTH HAVE A USB SLOT?!! (crunchgear.com/2009/07/22/otherwise-delicious-looking-hamburger-flash-drive-ruined-by-weird-product-image/)

The next device the web found funny was our solar powered flashlight. . Yes, solar. powered. flashlight. (crunchgear.com/2009/07/10/solar-powered-flashlight-features-leds-lithium-ion-battery/) For those times when the sun is directly overhead, but you need MORE light, then this flashlight comes in quite handy. OK joking aside, when we launched it we knew we were in for some ribbing. Kind of like parents who decide to name their son Leslie. The fact is, you take the flashlight out into the sun to charge it and you use it indoors to light up your world

August

Moving along, the latter half of the year was marked by beautiful music. Beautiful music and video files you could load into a retro media player dedicated to the greatest musician of all time – Vanilla Ice. Not. We called it the Mozart HDD enclosure because the “aptly-named ‘Mozart’ media player looks like a piano.” (crunchgear.com/2009/08/07/aptly-named-mozart-media-player-looks-like-a-piano/)

We also wow’ed the world (WOW = amaze, not World of Warcraft in this context) with a Dual SATA dock, to make life easier for illegal downloaders computer technicians everywhere.

For the end of the world types out there, we launched the Atlantis 4GB Deluxe Waterproof MP3 Player you can take with you on the Ark. Of course, if you’re the comic book type, you’ll remember Atlantis as the home of Prince Nemo. Anyone notice that Prince Nemo looks a lot like Leonard Nimoy? Nemo? Nimoy? Is it just me?

Finally, the blogosphere discovered our GPS watch (crunchgear.com/2009/08/24/gps-enabled-watch-lets-you-retrace-your-steps/)

September

Back to school, days getting shorter…there’s something about September I truly love. New teacher in school. Buying new jeans to go back to school. Installing a new car rear camera on the back of your head to keep your eye on Nelson the school bully. (redferret.net/?p=16280) Car Rear View mirrors aren’t special?

We particularly like Red Ferret Journal’s observation that “If you get the reversing camera option on a new car, chances are you ‘ll be paying around $1,000 for it. Chinavasion does the job for…just US$40.” But that’s what we do. Take those little things that would make your life better but cost too much to get and make them affordable.

October

By October we were tired. It had been a long year, and we were just looking for any excuse to have fun. Fun like a Pet Autofetch Ball. (switched.com/2009/11/01/autofetch-ball-next-generation-of-animal-torture/) Switched suggested the product was the next generation in pet torture.

We don’t torture pets! Here in China, we eat them.

In other news, Krusty the Clown once said one of the funniest words in existence is “mucklucks”. It sounds like you’re swearing but you’re not. We think “scart” is a funnier word. Try walking up to Beth, the head of HR and calling here a scart. Or when Bob from Accounting spills his soup say “Nice move, scartface!” Actually, SCART is an AV connection standard. Yeah not exactly interesting stuff. But some bloggers blogged about it. What are you saying, that bloggers are boring? You take that back or…or…we’ll write a blog post about you! (redferret.net/?p=16664)



Next, Paris Hilton came to China, came to our offices, asked for me, and said “I’d do anything for a Pink High Definition Camcorder…” (technabob.com/blog/2009/10/23/pink-hd-camcorder/)

In retrospect, October was indeed a pivotal month for us here at Chinavasion. We launched the Seinfeld-inspired Festivus Pole. For good times, please look at the pictures.




(crunchgear.com/2009/10/21/led-color-lighting-kit-finally-available-for-your-festivus-pole/) We launched the Facial Recognition Security System and Philip K Dick fans everywhere rejoiced while replicants sobbed in anguish (technabob.com/blog/2009/10/30/faceid-facial-recognition-security-system/).

We also launched the successor to the hugely popular Dingoo retro gaming platform of the retro game gods, known as the Gemei. (crunchgear.com/2009/10/08/portable-gaming-emulator-costs-81-runs-multiple-systems/) That’s pronounced Gah! (as in what you do if you happen to see a fat man in Speedos) and May (as in “please sir may I have some more?”).

But the best, most excellent part of October, was the unveiling of the Odyssey WIFI phone which to this day remains our best selling mobile phone. (blog.ohsoawesome.com/3/) 63 positive comments in 3 short months. Sold out three times. As a matter of fact, For the first 3 months The Odyssey outsold the iPhone 3GS here in China. ORLY?

November

November was marked by three ultra useful products, and one pseudo-useful product. The three useful ones first. Thermal winter gloves with LED (redferret.net/?p=17351) We couldn’t have said it better than the Red Ferret, this product allows you to “see in the chilly dark!”


Then there was the Spy Wifi Signal and Camera Detector (Spy-Fi???) is actually a darn cool piece of technology. (wired.com/gadgetlab/2009/11/cheap-plastic-box-detects-cameras-and-spy-wi-fi/) As was our Gauntlet cellphone watch.

(nexus404.com/Blog/2009/11/16/gauntlet-watchphone-ulocked-touchscreen-quad-band-watch-phone-can-be-used-with-network-of-choice-with-your-sim-card/) In the world of product branding what’s a cooler name than Gauntlet for a rugged cellphone watch?

The pseudo-useful product is for all those people who believe that secretly they’ve got mild super powers. Now you can augment your superness with LED Laser Fingers. Yeah it let’s you shoot laser from your fingers. It also gives you spirit fingers if you’re in the mood to bring it on. (redferret.net/?p=16916) A great item to keep kids entertained on school trips and campouts.

December

Wow, that was quick. We’re in December now. Families getting together to air grievances on Christmas Day and display their feats of strength.

The web loves our Venturer HD Camcorder (redferret.net/?p=17435) which was officially rated the Universe’s smallest camcorder by the Human Fund Magazine (Yes we really like our Seinfeld episodes here at Chinavasion, how can you tell?). The solar charger and holder is cool too. If you ever find yourself on the sun and you’re up for some gaming. You can keep playing until the year 10,000,000,000 AD! (redferret.net/?p=17375)

Everyone seemed to focus on our watches this last few weeks like the Galactus for example (no relation to the Galactus of the Marvel Universe). But equally powerful of course. (thatguywiththeglasses.com/blog/14668) Then they doted on the Fortaleza (Fortress in Portuguese) (societystylist.com/?p=3356), the K2 Wristop Computer (It’s the fact that the price of £12.40 (including free windshield mounting kit) makes something of a mockery of the new Suunto Elementum Terra which costs around the same as a small car for a similar specification.) (redferret.net/?p=17604), The Europa Phashion Phone (geniusbeauty.com/tech-gadgets-women/chinavasion-stylephone-stylish-convenience/) and finally the Iron Samurai. Yes that’s me in the pictures as the Iron Samurai.

At first we were going to call it the Steel Samurai for alliteration purposes, but there’s something in your face, about the name Iron Samurai. All the notable blogs picked up on it including….Wired, Gizmodo, Ohgizmo, wheeeee! (http://gizmodo.com/5422176/iron-samurai-watch-for-the-budget-conscious-and-style-averse)

So to close this off, what do I want for Christmas is probably what you’re asking. I already have an Odyssey phone and a great job where I test products all day. I’m thinking this Christmas it would be very nice if Santa arranged it so Megan Fox could be my girlfriend. If not, world peace is ok too.

So, if you haven’t already, check out A Year In Review, 2009’s Hottest Gadget Stories, Part 1, take a look at the latest China gadgets on our shelves to see if you can pick what will be hot in 2009 and let us know what you thought the best gadget story was of 2009 in the comments below.